Therapy for Abuse Issues

Abuse is the misuse of power and control over another person. It happens in intimate relationships, in families, in institutions, in workplaces and in care settings. Counselling can support you whatever the setting.

• Physical and sexual abuse, including sexual violence within a relationship
• Emotional, verbal and psychological abuse
• Coercive control, which has been a criminal offence in Ireland since the Domestic Violence Act 2018
• Financial and digital abuse, including controlling money, accounts, phones or social media
• Spiritual or religious abuse
• Neglect, and abuse experienced in childhood

The warning signs are often quieter than people expect. Threats and intimidation, yes, but also being cut off from friends, having your movements or messages checked, being humiliated in front of others, having no say over money, and being told again and again that you caused it.

The effects tend to last past the events themselves: anxiety, shame, low self-esteem, broken sleep, difficulty trusting anyone, depression, and the trauma responses that come with post-traumatic stress. Common, and not a sign that you handled anything badly.

Both. Counselling supports adults living with abuse now, and survivors of historical or childhood abuse. What therapy does not do is replace emergency help, safeguarding, or a safety plan made with someone who does this work every day. If you are still in the situation, specialist domestic abuse support may need to come first, or run alongside the therapy.

If your phone, email or internet use might be watched, a few practical things help:

• Use a device the other person cannot access, a work laptop, a friend's phone or a library computer
• Set up a separate email account with a password you have not used before
• Ask whether appointment reminders can be sent under a neutral contact name, or not sent at all
• Attend from somewhere private, including a parked car if that is what is available

Be careful about suddenly wiping your browsing history. If that is out of character for your device, it can draw attention rather than avoid it. A specialist service can help you think through how to get to therapy safely before you book anything.

Look for someone accredited who has specific experience with abuse, coercive control or childhood trauma, rather than a general practitioner of everything. You can check a therapist's registration with the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, the Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy, or the Irish Council for Psychotherapy. No GP letter is needed to start counselling in Ireland.

Worth asking before you book:

• What trauma-informed training do you have, and how long have you worked online?
• Have you supported people through this particular kind of abuse?
• What are your safeguarding and confidentiality procedures?
• What are your fees, and do you offer reduced-cost or sliding-scale places?

Private fees vary a good deal between therapists, so ask directly and check whether your health insurance contributes. Free options exist too. Connect Counselling offers free telephone counselling for adults who experienced abuse, neglect or violence in childhood, and the HSE mental health supports directory lists services nationally alongside local domestic abuse organisations.